Everyone loves a good love story, but does your love story include you?

Over the years I have learned that a majority of women do love truly, madly, deeply when it comes to others, but not so much when it comes to themselves. They find the idea to be quite novel.

Many women have a difficult time with the thought of loving themselves, It’s as if they are either unable to understand the concept or accept their own love. While others capitalize on the self-love, embrace their strengths and soar. I find the disparity fascinating and encouraging.

I am encouraged by the number of women, who, when they dip their toes into the waters of self-care and self-love, are amused, tickled pink and grateful. Their self-esteem blossoms and their confidence increases.

We, as women, have been programmed throughout the ages to give of ourselves, which we do quite well. We have learned how to give of ourselves first and to do for others before we do for ourselves. However, over the decades the need to care for ourselves above others has been shifting. Imagine asking a woman of your mother’s or grandmother’s generation how much she loves herself? How do you think she would respond?

It is no small feat to choose you first, but it is possible. Yes, it is possible to love thyself so much that not only do you decide to change something about yourself that has been holding you back, but in doing so you change the entire trajectory of your life.

I did that when I decided to get sober.

At the time I did not realize it I was committing an act of self-love.

That act changed my life – for the rest of my life – and it changed the lives of those who shared their lives with me.

In the process of committing that act I took a good hard look at my life. I looked at where I was, what I was doing, who I was hurting and why I continued to hurt myself. It was an eye-opening, heart-breaking experience yet it took me where I needed to go. If you feel called to commit an act of self-love you may want to heed my guidance.

The act begins with a desire. It begins with self-reflection. Before you embark I am willing to guess you already have an idea of what may not be working well in your life. Give pause to how you are feeling about yourself, what are you beating yourself up about. What do you, dare I say, detest about yourself? It is okay. Embrace that. Embrace all of that. Take the time to understand your strengths, values, and attributes as well.

Be willing to forgive yourself. You have only this moment. Forgive yourself, if only in words at this point. What is lesson or what are the lessons you may learn from whatever may be weighing you down? There are answers. Ask for help to accept and let it go. It is possible and you will gently move on.

Maintain as positive an attitude as possible. Words are powerful and will change any situation. Positive words, used positively have a meaningful affect. Choose your words carefully and keep moving forward. Believe in yourself and your words and your actions will follow suit.

Do not compare. There is no need to compare you to others. You are exactly where you are meant to be and you are whole, healthy and beautiful. To begin with, no one can ever compare to you, so do not waste your precious time and words.

Make sure to set boundaries for yourself. You know your own limits, strengths and weaknesses. Do not hesitate to say no. Create an absolutely yes list. List everything to which you are willing to say yes. If you are asked to participate in or do anything other than what you have listed, say no. Abide by your absolutely yes list, it will never steer you wrong.

Practice gratitude and mindfulness. Keep a journal for yourself and make a point to write something every day. The journal will serve as a powerful reminder of your blessings and help you to focus when meditating.

Most of all, take a few minutes out of each day to look at yourself in a mirror. Really look at yourself. Hold your gaze and allow yourself to see yourself as others see you. You may come away with a deeper sense of self-love than you have ever experienced.

Above all else – know it is truly okay to love yourself. It is okay to truly, madly, deeply love yourself. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but give it a try anyway.

In The Buddha’s own words: “You, yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Repost ©2025 ALL Rights Reserved. Listen To Thyself with Diane Marie Ford. Share this article to your heart’s content, but please do not use it without my written permission. Thank you.