No one enjoys grieving – that’s a given, but if you stop to think about it – grieving does play a necessary and important role in the death and healing process.
Losing a loved one, whether an animal or person, is a shock to our system. Whether their death was sudden and unexpected or slow and expected, it is a shock to our system.
A loss is a loss. Plain and simple.
It is the physical presence of that being that we grieve and the loss of that physical being is felt on a very deep level.
To never be able to touch, converse, interact with or be in the (physical) company of that being leaves a rather large vacuum – a space which many of us race to fill to make ourselves feel better. The race usually is unintentional – unconscious, yet we want to feel better and believe the quicker we fill the space, the quicker we will feel better.
We all want to feel better – no one enjoys grieving or crying, or walking around in a daze unable to think straight.
Some of us allow ourselves to wallow in the grief – leave the space empty and play the blues over and over until the blues are all played out. To truly feel one’s feelings takes courage and determination – as typically, we all just want to move along.
To be present with the pain allows us to eke out every single feeling and thought and dissect each one, in a manner of speaking.
I believe it is safe to say that each and every one of us have more than likely, processed our grief by choosing to remember the good times, the loving qualities, the happy memories of that deceased being… and that carries us further than we realize.
Grief is an essential and necessary part of letting go, providing we don’t set up camp and opt to remain there forever. On some level we all know, deep down inside, when it is time to pack up our belongings, including our processed grief and move on.
Some of us may require help – as some of us find it impossible to move without a kind, reassuring word, or a helping hand, from a friend or family member.
Some of us may push through the ‘loss’ or death, convincing ourselves the grieving process is unnecessary – or it’s not for ‘me’ – only to find, sometime down the road, grief sneaks up on us and bites us in the ass, or knocks us for a loop.
Either way – grief or the grieving process deserve respect.
Grief deserves proper attention.
Grief serves a purpose, though we may be blind to that purpose, while we are in the throes of it.
The interesting twist to all of this is even though I know the spirits of the beings who have transitioned are very present and accounted for…
Even though I know there is life after life…
And even though I know we will all be together again…
I revel in my grief, as it brings me closer to my ‘deceased’ loved one, and it allows me to be fully present, feel my feelings and honor spirit and the memories of that being, for whom I grieve.
Goodnight my sweet Toka kitty.